I'm teaching this summer intensive class at Parsons in July. I hadn't really gone over any of the materials they'd sent me yet until today because my syllabus isn't due until tomorrow and I'm a procrastinator. Going over everything, I was amused to find that there's a two page memo reminding us not to have sex with our students! Two pages! It's hysterical! To paraphrase, it basically says, "Yeah, we know you want to have sex with your students and we know it happens all the time, but please don't do it. When men and women get in a close space together and work a lot intensely in a friendly atmosphere these kinds of things happen, but please don't fuck the students. Please? Seriously, we'll get sued. So, please don't. As a reminder, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOUR STUDENTS!" I mean that's not anywhere even close to the wording, but that's the message pretty much. And two pages of it! Wow. Anyway, I guess I have to figure out something else to do with my evenings in July now...

BEA
May 23, 2007

I'm going to be signing with Barry Yourgrau at BEA on June 1st from 12:00-12:30 at the HarperCollins booth to promote our book, Yet Another NASTYbook.

Mr. Wiggles Book in Italy
May 18, 2007

I'm back from allergy land and feeling much, much better. Yay, recovery! Besides feeling better, physically, I'm now feeling better mentally as I've got some exciting news to share: There will be an Italian language collection of Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles comics published by the fine folks at Fusi Orari (according to my Mac translator, means "Jet Lag"). They are the book imprint of Internazionale, the weekly magazine who publishes my comic in Italy. The book will collect all of my comics that have been published in Internazionale. I started publishing there after Volume 2 of my books came out so this is sort of like the third volume, but the first for my friends across the Atlantic. I don't know an exact release date yet, but when I have more info, I'll let you know.

The Incredible Leaking Man
May 14, 2007

Still feeling like shit, but better enough to get the comic done and uploaded onto the site. Allergy season hit me like an angry redneck closet homosexual who thinks you implied he was gay simply because you mentioned how gracefully he walked. I'd been taking my Claritin-D's for the past week and things had finally gotten to the point where I felt relatively OK, but completely reversed all the good I did by attending my friend's birthday party on Saturday in the park all afternoon during a high pollen day. That's what happens when you get cocky. On the commercials they make it look like once you're on the pills, you can spend the rest of your days in fields eating grass and rubbing tree leaves over your entire body. Sure, you can do that, but after a few hours, you are fucked, my friend. Fucked. And that's what happened to me.

I was great most of the afternoon, but by the time I got home, I had turned into the Incredible Leaking Man. I cannot believe the amount of disgusting crap that has come out of me the past 48 hours. It's literally nonstop. And for a good amount of that time, I've had complete nasal blockage. Now I'm at the point where I'm still leaking like a ship about to go down, but at least I've got a free nostril. And it's doing that thing where every couple of hours the nostril switches. I'm still trying to figure out which nostril I prefer being unblocked of the two. I want to go with righty, but lefty is kind of the underdog and I do like rooting for him.

So now I'm confining myself to my apartment, kicking up my air purifier to the max, and just waiting it out with two tissues stuck permanently up my nose. It's pretty miserable. Gah. I'm hoping this will only last another day or so to recover from my foolishness in thinking I could actually enjoy a full day outside during the height of allergy season in the Spring. It's too late this year, but maybe next year I'll consider getting some shots. I hear they do wonders when taken over time.

I'll report back if anything interesting comes out of my nose. Until then, I've got my box of Kleenex and I'm heading over to the couch.

I Wish I was in Oklahoma
May 13, 2007

The comic is going to be late this week. I'm suffering from a really bad case of seasonal allergies and feel like complete shit and can't really produce at the moment. According to pollen.com, Oklahma has the lowest levels of allergens today. I wish there was a magic portal that could take me there right now. Hopefully I'll feel well enough to get it done tomorrow.

Work, Work, Work...
May 11, 2007

It's been a pretty busy week. On Tuesday I got a fun illustration assignment for The Pittsburgh City Paper that had me doing their cover and four interior illustrations for the annual Summer Guide. The interiors were due on Thursday and the cover on Friday so it was kind of a tight, although definitely doable, deadline. I handed the last of it off late last night and have been spending today recouping, watching Dr. Phil (So what, I like that show. Shut up.), eating leftover Thai, and working on a novel jacket design project for HarperCollins. I keep hoping for some down time so I can work on some of the projects for myself I'd really like to get done—the Mr. Wiggles comic strip animations and new t-shirts, the movie I'm trying to write, and the graphic novels/books I'm developing—but I guess being busy is good in this business. At least I'll soon be able to afford the new solid gold grill I've been dreaming about. It has the letters "N" and "S" in diamonds on the two front teeth and the rest are embossed with dollar signs. Goddamn, it's gonna be fucking awesome!!!

I had an interesting offer come my way this week as well. I'm not sure if I should talk about it or not so I won't name them until if and when it's official, but a very cool, well-read website asked me if I would be interested in writing a bi-weekly column for them about comics, art, and design. I told them I absolutely would. I've got to get back to them this weekend with some ideas about what exactly the column would be about and see if that gels with what they were thinking. Hopefully, it will, because I think it would be sweet. Almost as sweet as my solid gold grill! Holy shit, just thinking about it makes my teeth ooze rainbows! Rainbows!!! It's like a gay pride convention in my mouth! Wait—that didn't come out right. Shit, I hope my parents don't read this.

Yet Another NASTYbook
May 4, 2007

I've got a brand spankin' new book that just hit the streets a few days ago: Yet Another NASTYbook! The book is a collection of ultra-short stories for young adults authored by the deliciously surreal and wicked Barry Yourgrau and published by the fine folks at HarperCollins. I art directed, designed, and illustrated the entire thing. It's a pretty fun package. A lot of the design of the book interacts with the stories in a playful manner. Some stories use really tiny fonts, some run only a few words on each page, and some are even printed backwards so you have to read them in a mirror. I think there were something like 25-30 illustrations I did for the book? I can't remember exactly. Anyway, so far it's gotten good reviews by Kirkus and is currently featured on Barnes and Nobles as one of their Noteworthy Children's Books. I have a few sample pages posted in the design section of my portfolio site over at neilswaab.com. If you're interested in checking out an actual physical copy, it should be in all the big chains by now.